The New Chair

Things are coming along at home minus the no heat for the weekend and staying in the hotel and having a Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw moment---me typing away in bed before my bar shift working on writing projects. But this is the new Parker sleeper chair so over night guests, come one, come all, I promise, there will be heat...

It won't be as Kimpton luxury living, but I do make a mean banana bread for breakfast, and yes, there will be bourbon.

I'm in the long haul of bartending before I leave for Kripalu so I may be more silent than usual here, but make sure to visit my twin, Ms. Gin.

Why I Heart Being a Bartender

Reason number 358---you can get invited to the guest list for shows!

I used to think I was part of the underbelly of society by my said profession, but really, it's the opposite. We bartenders like our music!

Hello, Ms. Gin

For a while I've been thinking about starting a bar/bourbon blog. And now, welcome to the marriage of my writing and my tending. Hello, Ms. Gin! Cheers to you and you and you...

Hava Negilah

Yesterday evening a man with an accordian was playing Hava Negilah in the Herald Square subway station. Reason number #376 to heart New York. The whole day yesterday was a fall in love in the city day. It began with Alicia's Ostriker's Midrash workshop which I had resisted and resisted for so long. I always got the emails but never went. She really opened up a poem I was trying to work on about my cousin. 

Before the workshop Amy and I had Murray's bagels and afterwards, vintage clothing shopping where I scored a $15 purple dress and now that I think about it, I will call this the Meredith dress since I found it right after working on a poem.

And I get to wear the dress to Pegu later this week!

Post 30, it's curtains, curtains for you (me)

I both do and do not feel different. Perhaps I did party it up like a 21 year old for my 30th, but who wouldn't do that at AWP? According to Mr. Schmooze, my party was slammin! However, everyone was out of my room by 1 am and there was no late night pizza order and so, no, this wasn't my 21st birthday. And that night, only two bourbons for me and for the most part, the entire conference was pretty moderate in terms of drinking and staying up late. I even made it to the gym one morning.

I'm grateful for having an early panel. As unexcited I was about 9 am, many people showed up and were lively (and it wasn't just b/c Alicia got loud). My co-panels had a lot to say about identity, religion, and culture. I feel very fortunate to have such amazing women in my corner so thank you Eve, Idra, Sharon, and Erika. And to all those fab poets, both Jewish and not, this was one of my favorite AWP's. Meeting Meredith Hall and attending her panel about grant and essay writing changed how I think about applying for fellowships and conferences. (envelope for bread loaf, ready!).

Oh, and I danced and danced.

Where to Begin

I can't even begin to describe the whirlwind that is my life---I can only say what has or will be happening recently.

My cousin Meredith passed last week. She was 31 and passed on her daughter's 1st birthday. The funeral was yesterday---I flew to Minneapolis and back. I am so lucky to have such a supportive family and extended family. There were so many people from Youngstown there and I even had a high school friend on my flights. I'm realizing how fortunate I am to know the people I know and be from where I am from...

The night before I left, I ended up having a slice of pie and relaxing at a local coffee shop, Roots Cafe. The owner Jayme and his wife are from Alabama and it reminds me of Brady's Cafe from college where the regulars leave their mugs there. I'm lucky to have picked a neighborhood that really feels like one. I'm getting to know all the shop keepers, grocers, bartenders, etc.

On the plane home, it turned out that the two people in my row also lived in South Slope and so we shared a cab. Mr. Rad doesn't know how I do it, how I connect in this way. He thinks I should buy a lottery ticket. But I don't think I'm lucky in that way. 

Yesterday the rabbi spoke of cousin Meredith as being the same, a person who brings people together. Maybe that is our family. Maybe that is Youngstown, or Ohio. Maybe I'll never really know what that is, but whatever it is, it is good. Mere, Jules and I share the same Hebrew name, Raizel, after our great grandma and so maybe it is her spirit infused in us.

Whatever it is, it is a blessing. One that I will carry with me as I bartend the two days I'm in town before AWP and while I'm at the conference and beyond.

I'll be 30 on Sunday. I don't feel it yet. And I've decided to post pone big celebrations, I'm not ready yet. So in April I'll acknowledge it properly. But for now, we're almost 30 and we're a little quiet about it.

dressing it up

I've added a new color to the apt---this blue that is one of my favorites....more to come about decorating, but progress is happening as this place evolves into home and as I continue to learn about patience, decorating, budgeting (all the way TARGET!) and being more in tune with everything and not being so rigid and structured...

and today, found a new yoga studio here in a gallery. I was the only for who came to class so I felt like I had a private lesson in Anusara yoga. This type is all about the heart, which is something I think I need. Lots of heart opening and softening. I came home feeling changed and with deeper understanding of my own alignment issues, both mentally and physically.