Essay Draft

I've been thinking about identity in several different capacities---for panels, my life coaching, my art---and so here's a draft in the works. I'll be in Baltimore this weekend visiting my cousins and seeing O.A.R.!!!

~

Life as a Jewish Writer or a Writerly Jew

The subject for these essays reminds me of an activity from a BBYO summer program. I was 15 and in a room with Jewish teens from all across the country. Rabbi Carrie Carter posed the question: Are you a Jewish American or an American Jew? We were supposed to go to opposite ends of the room based on how we identified. I remember thinking, which is stronger, the adjective or the noun, the word or the modifier---which one held the most power? I tried to logic it out---most of my peers had already made their decisions. I was sitting in the center of the room with a few other kids. One of them asked if we could be our own category. I don’t remember if Carrie said that was ok or not, or where I ended up, which path I chose.

Years later, I find myself still trying to answer the same question, but in other terms---am I a Jewish writer or a writer who sometimes writes about her Judaism? And I think I will always be writing and thinking about this question. Writing began for me through my Judaism. One year later, after that summer program, I was on another BBYO program, The March of the Living. As part of our experience, we were supposed to keep a journal. I was a compulsive writer. I wanted to document every fact, every moment, every feeling I had as I bore witness to the largest and closest inhumanity I had ever come this close to. Somewhere, poems were born and I became known as the “bus poet.”

In 2006, my first book of poems was released. It’s a poetic sequence written in the voice of a fictitious Holocaust survivor. It was written during the last semester of my MFA, a time when my only Jewish identity was through my writing. At that point, I wasn’t part of a community---there was no BBYO or Hillel, the organizations that shaped my young adult life. I had been own my own and somehow, this voice came from somewhere inside. Even though externally, nothing about me signaled “Jewish,” there was this voice, inside telling me who I was as a writer---definitely Jewish.

We write from the places we’re from. For me, landscape is as much internal as it is external. After spending much of my middle and late twenties unaffiliated, I decided to go back and seek the source from which writing began. My religion. My cultural identity. I applied to be an Arts Fellow at the Drisha institute. I wanted once again to surround myself with a vibrant and artistic Jewish community. Next year, I will continue my explorations of Jewish texts as a part time arts fellow. What I hadn’t thought about until recently is that phrase, we are a people of the book. Judaism is one of the most literary traditions, so it’s no wonder these paths of my life are intrinsically fused together. Before this year at Drisha, I had seen my art and my Judaism as Robert Frost’s proverbial “two roads diverged in a woods,” and I thought I had to pick one, just as I had to cross to one side of the room when I was 15, declaring myself either more “American” or more “Jewish.”

But my learning at Drisha has told me that it’s the exploration of the answer and the journey there. Recently, my writing has taken a new twist. My second book, an anthology of poems in which I edited, compiling poems that women have written about rape and sexual assault, has become a social action project. I found a publisher who would agree to half the profits being donated back to local rape crisis centers. So in this way, my writing has moved from the subject matter as Jewish, to the very purpose of my writing stemming from the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam. Or perhaps that it’s that nothing has shifted except for how I understand my position as both a writer and as a Jew.

Thus, as I grow Jewishly, my writing shifts and is influenced by my learning---whether it manifests itself in the text of my poems, or the purpose behind my work, it’s impossible for me to separate my writing life from my Jewish life because both of my worlds inform each other.

Girls Gone Mild!

I remember reading Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty in college---it offered the counterpoint to many of my feminist classes, the phrase I remember was "giving in to your shadow slut," and now as I'm back in the dating pool, I'm finding this is more challenging for women in their late twenties. Eve Grubin had a great article in Presentense a while ago about modesty and here's another one in The Weekly Standard. It's definitely something to think about and consider, but I'm curious about the actual application. I've come up with my own dating rules---not as strict as Shomer N'giah, but a version, just like my vegetarianism is like my kashrut. Maybe J was right a long time ago on the street, maybe I will fall for the black hat type. But most likely, I'm hoping for someone who is as energetic and artistic as I am, and someone who will want to navigate this crazy journey with me.

Y Town in My Town

I came across a Youngstown poem while working on a submission this morning---here's to you, Y-town!

Now, back to sauce it up for more bartending tonight!

The Short List

It's quiet here---which means I've been quite busy working on projects---I'm not going to talk yet about them here, but they have been causing me to be running around a bit more than usual. For work and for play, of course! Some highlights include wine and cheese at Artisanal, drinking my father's Wild Turkey Honey Infused Bourbon out in the courtyard with one of the best people I know, shopping with mom, writer's group, and roommate bonding.

I think I've also been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out how to pursue everything I want---should I focus on a few key projects, or should everything be on a slow boil? I know I don't have the answer yet, but many things are in motion.

Some exciting news thus far to share is that I will be on a panel at next year's AWP conference. Here's the panel and description: Jewish Poetry vs. Poetry by Jews: While many of the great poets of the 20th century—from Delmore Schwartz to Stanley Kunitz—were Jewish, they rarely dealt with Judaism in their work. Today, however, a new generation of poets—many of them women—are addressing Judaism head-on. This panel will look at why and how this change came about, how these poets came to write about religion and culture, what role Judaism plays in the shape and scope of their work, and how they were influenced by the generations that preceded them.

I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit lately and some of the things that are cropping up are astounding. More on this will follow---I've actually started writing an essay about this and will be posting some thoughts on the blog. My co-panelists are Erika Meitner, Sharon Dolin, Joy Katz, and moderator, Eve Grubin.

It was a BANG

and so good to be home with friends and family! These happened in my cousins' yard, and were lit off by my cousin! All of us in one row of lawnchairs---front row baby!

Cupcakes Will Make Everything OK

Just like every cloud has it's silver lining, every cupcake has it's icing.

These fabulous cupcakes here are wheat free and gluten free and amazing! I'd even say as good if not better than Magnolia. And what's awesome is that many people are working on making food for people with allergies. The ones pictured here are courtesy of Pamela of Pamela's Products (I had at least 6 tonight.) At the reading, I also met Lucy whose son is allergic to many things and so she developed her own line as well---I don't know the official website, but I'm sure she's google-able. She's based out of Norfolk, VA. So for those of you looking for yummy treats, these women are sure to satisfy!

I got to the Alimentum reading early and Paulette was all: Do you want to help ice the cupcakes?

Me: Hell yes!

After that, I knew the night was going to be grand...I was even asked to read---and so I read Ramona from the iphone! Yes, I email myself my poems. I read the new one and it went over well and it looks like Ramona will be a book some day. She may even be a one woman show. Someone approached me about that too---I had never considered Ramona live, but since my Drisha collaboration, I'm open to exploring the creative options---

And I brought the cupcakes home (and even the mix so I can make more) for the roommates and they were a huge hit, so it looks like I'm back to fantastic land. And yes, that is a size 2. Traci gave me all her old bar clothes, so eat your heart out ladies.

I know I'll have my cupcakes and still be a 2!

The Fabulous and Not So

Lately I've been thinking about the way we present ourselves on our blogs (as well as in our lives). The way we can make an ordinary thing seem like our life is kissed by something so great, well, we just have to explode and take photos and put it out there in the cosmos for others to come across.

My new chair came. I took it in a cab home. It was sunny and we drove over the Brooklyn Bridge. It cost me $30...I was supposed to go out last night and meet a good friend not from here for her birthday, but I couldn't. I was too exhausted and heart broken. The ex is already back on Jdate. I know, I never blog of these things---the really personal ones. I like to guard my ~real~ life and keep those private moments, well private. So I don't know how long this post will actually stay up. But I'm digressing.

And I'm also living in the past a little bit and I'm sure I'm going through all the things anyone who has ever gone through a break up has been through. This was a man I thought I could marry. I guess I was living in some deluded life that he would realize what it was we had and he would not be able to let go completely. I don't know if this is the case, but I most certainly do not have an online dating presence.

Though as a woman, I suppose these things are a little easier. Wear a cute shirt to a poetry reading and read a poem about menstruation and you will get asked for a drink afterwards. So I know maybe I shouldn't let my mind run in these circles. He did say the dates weren't good. In my mind, he was still mine...

Maybe I need to be hit over the head with this. Maybe I shouldn't waste my tears. Maybe I should sieze the day---after all, I've been in bed since 7 p.m. last night. And I'm sure that my mr. right is out there and has probably already emailed me a poem about me or spent the better half of the evening listening to me snivel, or maybe he knows the right place to have dessert, or can hang shelves. I want to believe it's out there. But I'm still tired and my heart feels like the kitchen after the restaurant's closed. Or like my new chair in the early morning light. My favorite jeans within reaching distance.

Ginger and Juice!

This is the juice (from GoBo) that I had with Beth from NYSCASA that inspired so much---one, a new desk chair from Bo Concept coming my way next week---though mine will have a white slip cover. It's so comfy and my feet hit the floor while my back is supported. It's funny, even though I love my lap top, I love it most on the desk :)

And number two is my new super secret project for The Why and Later. There's much to say about the meeting, but for now, I'm up to my eyeballs in student fiction...I played frisbee all day in Princeton so serves me right to have to buckle down tonight! Let's just say, I'll have a new title soon :)

The Perfect Wedding

Erin got married this weekend. Here's pictures of all of us gals and of her cupcakes! No wedding cake, wedding cupcakes! It was a dream come true for me---still not as good as Sugar Sweet Sunshine, but these orange and pink flowered beauties captured my heart. What was the best part of the wedding, besides all of us together again, was the pictures---on each table they had a picture of them together and on the back they had written letters to each other about that time and their life together thus far and what they hope for the future. It was a simple wedding---you could see so much of themselves and theur families and friends in it. It was really a day about love and life, both theirs and all of ours.

~

Every Monday Needs A Little Roadtrip

Because I have moved, I didn't find out until last night that I was getting this award! Luckily, I was able to juggle my schedule around so I could be at the dinner and ceremony this evening upstate---eight years in the making for the anthology and eight hours on the road (there and back) today. The plaque is resting on the bed next to where I'll be laying my head in a few moments. More to come, but for now, it's a good night for me...

My New Writing Area

The new room is coming together! Thanks to a super sweet poet/construction worker friend, I was able to hang my new shelves the other day!

The room still needs some work, but it's coming together---it's a metaphor in a way---trying to figure out what fits and what goes where...

Yesterday was Sex and the City with the gals in Brooklyn at lunch. We ended up at 12th street bar and grill and the bartender said, wow, you all just need a fourth and we'd be like the movie. Oh how true---

There is nothing in the world like laughing with the girls in the middle of the afternoon :)

I'm really starting to hang things up on my New York shelves so to speak---just found out that I'll have a why and later reading in the next KGB Bar poetry reading series in the fall! And starting to make regular writing dates with my gal pal writers, so working on creating the space that I need, the things to make me feel whole.

The Big Drisha Show

I am excited to announce that I will previewing excerpts of a new work this month, created in collaboration with Dages Keates and Basya Shechter as well as my favorite dancers.

The work is based on my first book of poetry, "the steam sequence" and features performers Adrienne Barr, Rachel Lane, Sarah Lannon, Megan Sommerville, Alexis Steeves and myself.

Drisha Showcase
June 16th
7:30 PM
JCC Manhattan
334 Amsterdam Ave
New York, NY

This short and varied evening will feature the work of other Drisha Arts Fellows, including wonderful artists, musicians, composers, poets and more. Tickets are now on sale for the event. Please contact the JCC for tickets.

The event is $5 and begins at 7:30PM.

Death and Company

has some of the best signature cocktails in town! After going to the Jan Beatty/Gerry LaFemina reading at Small's, I met the gals for ladies night. The bar is of course death themed and quite dark and romantic---a HOT candlelit death! Mandy got in good with the bouncer so looks like this will be a regular spot for us.

It was a night completely needed. I'm grateful for both Amy and Mandy and that I got myself out of the house. And it was well worth it on a few fronts---I scored some po'business and a drink was bought for me, all thanks to the winning combo of my tampon poem and my MoMoFoLana shirt!

Jan Beatty is my new favorite super hero poet

and so I'm excited to go hear her read tomorrow! And since I have never been to Small's in my New York life, it's a double bonus!!!

Smalls Reading Series is proud to announce the lineup for our May 31st Reading:

Jan Beatty (RED SUGAR, U of Pittsburgh Press, 2008; BONESHAKER, U of Pittsburgh Press, 2002)

+Gerry LaFemina (THE PARAKEETS OF BROOKLYN, Bordighera Press, 2005; THE WINDOW FACING WINTER, New Issues Poetry and Prose, 2004)

+Open reading featuring a host of fine NYC poets.+A little music+Your Hosts, George Guida, Lee Kostrinsky and Christine Timm

Come be part of a special evening.
Saturday, May 31st, 5 p. m.
Smalls Jazz Club
183 West 10th Street
Manhattan
For further information
visit www.smallsjazzclub.com

YAY!

the new bed and walls!

Moving Grace

I'm grateful for being moved in to the new place, after a long day of moving (sigh)

New blue walls and Martha Stewart bedding

and Dages and Basya, for an amazing rehearsal tonight

and Colson's spicy chocolate tart as a before rehearsal treat!

Memorial Gratitude

I'm grateful for my subway reading: Jane Austen's Emma and Jeanette Walls' The Glass Castle, which I can't put down---

for SB's visit and late night tea and bourbon

for ASD and JD for stopping in to the Silverleaf (I'm wondering if I watched too many episodes of Cheers!) Had a great discussion with some gals who came into the bar about using their first name when I return their credit cards---who wants to be Ms. So and So when you're tossing back martinis? Albeit, it's a Swanky Cheers when I'm behind the bar :)

and Heidi at Whistle who knows how to make me feel pretty!

Non Committed

I've been falling behind with my gratitude. Perhaps it's hard to stick to gratitude or hard for me to just keep a routine going. Here's what brings me joy:

The JC Penny Towel, thanks to Michal for introducing me to them!

Behr Spring Rain---the color of my new room (painting this weekend)

the washer and dryer (filled with laundry right now)

Amanda and FD for a well needed get away last weekend

DP for driving down to be a part of it

My family, for so many things, esp. Uncle Scott's chocolate chip pancakes and their support of my literary happenings

Sarah and her mom for driving down for the reading

Annie for always being there to listen or email me info when I misplace what I shouldn't misplace

my mom for emailing me positive, insightful and often original quotes

~

My online semester has started and so I'm full of students' writing and remembering when I began, how exciting and scary to begin to take stock of your life and what matters most to you and then to write it down, and gasp, share it with the world, or at least a smaller version of it. I'm grateful for them right now too.

Gratitude in the Heartland

It's always good to go home, though I'm on the other side of the state. The yoga/reading BG benefit was so much more than I imagined. I was really touched by Cathy who lost her daughter a year ago because of domestic violence---one week after her loss, she started Alicia's Voice. Her strength is an inspiration.

Perhaps it was one of the reasons I was able to do my first headstand in yoga class without the wall! There I was, holding myself upside down in the middle of the room and for the first time I wasn't afraid of falling.

Amanda and FD have been fabulous hosts---from vegetarian tortilla casserole for dinner on friday, my amazing super soft bed, flowers for my hair, and of course the rock star Bleu! We're about to head out to Revolver for an amazing dinner...

monday :(

i'm not feeling so hot or gracious today. it's rainy and i'm a little sad about all the changes...i know they're exciting and will be good for me, but today, these were a struggle:

franny's pizza
susan and fritz in town
annie's cheery email

saturday's three joys and today's

cristina at work setting up the bar so i could have more time at macy's and dinner with mom

rhonda in the bedding dept at macy's

mom in town

~

carla's yoga class this am

going to see made of honor

chickpea pasta dinner plans

Celebratory List

Pilates at noon

Homemade veggie nachos with Amanda

my reading tonight at the Lucky Cat

(this is something I'm working on---to find 3 things to celebrate each day) so look for small snippets of gratitude blogging this month)

Blue

always makes me happy and it's around this time of year that I always end up with blue toe nails---tonight they're the color of the sky.

When I got home, found a letter from my father with a clipping from the Cleveland Plain Dealer---an article about Maj Ragain:

some lines from Daniel Thompson, a Cleveland poet, writing about Maj Ragain:

The heart unfolding
like a bird on the wing
asks of heaven
only for a mouth to sing

reminds me of Nancy singing Nigguns at Drisha during our artists' lunch. And in speaking of poems and songs, you'll find me in Vilna with Alicia Ostriker and Jehanne Dubrow. And as Maj always taught, gratitude can come as the honest and bastardly prophet. And on Friday, you'll find me in Williamsburg for a reading...

I'm grateful for all of this...

Confirmation

As I've been struggling with what really matters in my life and what is it that I want to do and be the most, this article confirms the work that has chosen me. Joanna brings to the surface what many of us want to bury.

You can read the entire series Beyond Rape in The Cleveland Plain Dealer.

There is too much to say and too much not said and for now, it is someone else's words that sing.

Come See Me

I know I've been out of touch...I have so many stories but I'm struggling with trying to figure everything out lately...sometimes I think I do so much that it's difficult to know which direction to take. But I'm not one to discuss these things via the blog. Hence the silence. So right now, here's some more shameless promotion.

DRISHA POETS Elana Bell, Amy Gottlieb, Sarah Heller, and Carly Sachs
Will Give a Reading On Wednesday, April 30th at 6:00 PMat the Cornelia Street Café

Poets and Drisha Arts Fellows, Elana Bell, Amy Gottlieb, Sarah Heller, and Carly Sachs, will read from their work at the Cornelia Street Café in the West Village on Wednesday night, April 30th at 6PM (29 Cornelia Street, 212-989-9319). The evening will be introduced by Drisha Arts Fellowships Coordinator, Eve Grubin.

Join me on the Mat in DC

April 20th
4:30-6:30 p.m.
Why and Later Benefit
Tranquil Space Yoga
one hour yoga class, followed by
a reading from the anthology
with Teri Ellen Cross, Rosemary Winslow and Carly Sachs

more details on the Tranquil Space site!

Y Town is My Town

Oh, Youngstown, my how you have grown?

Yoga Benefits for Why and Later

I'm so looking forward to seeing Amanda and so grateful to her for putting this together! Tonight, I'm finally picking up the donations from Jaya and the extra T's. If you're in DC, check out the Tranquil Space event and if you're in Ohio, hope to see you in BG in May!!!

Cornelia Reading on You Tube

Jackie, whiz of words and technology has posted videos of us reading so if you missed the reading, check it out here!

Even with all the yoga, I still think my arms look a little fat!?

Catching Up

It's already April, National Poetry Month. You'll find me on Nextbook! I'm so excited to appear where Erika Meitner and Gerald Stern have appeared.

The reading at Cornelia was amazing. I'm lucky to know and get to know such powerful writers. This anthology is teaching me a lot about the importance of community and the importance of art in our lives and how it can get us through the difficult times. I'm reading Jan Beatty's new book, Red Sugar, and feel a certain energy---how the poems carry you to difficult places, but lift you with redemptive wings. They are sultry and shameless. I'm metaphorically crushing again! Jan Beatty is fierce (to borrow from Christian on Project Runway!).

Just Like a Girl

I know I've been silent on the blog lately...I'm in the middle of a lot and have a long list of what I want to be blogging about, but for now, esp. after the energy of the Cornelia reading where I was blown away by all my contributors, I wanted to announce this great book---Just Like a Girl---I assume it will carry much of the same power as writing centered around an experience. If I know Michelle, I won't be disappointed when I get my contributor's copy. And esp. as someone who just put together an anthology, I'm in much appreciation and awe.

Detroit Rock City!!

is one of my favorite places to read. James and Kim have an amazing home in the Zeitgeist gallery and a great group of friends who came out for dinner before the reading and drinks afterwards. Chris who is teaching my book (yesterday was my day on the syllabus) what a coincidence, brought some of her students. It was a lovely turnout and the first time I read in a place I wasn't familiar with in a community that I didn't know---but now, I feel very connected here. I think it was the CVS bag o'cash they presented me with---a whole different thing than passing the hat! And we had a coin toss to see who read first. I picked tails and won, so I read first---I actually like that so I can pay attention to the other readers and I'm glad I did. Robert Fanning has an amazing series of poems about America's next prophet--some haunting images of bloody birds becoming men. And all the while, I'm staring into the face of a dead moose on the wall!?

And Woodford is only $6.50! My kind of town :)

Poetry in the Present Tense

I knew it was going to be a great night with Reb on Tuesday when we got to harass a famous poet in a pizza parlor! She was a rockstar on the panel and it was nice to get out of my normal night routine of Drisha then yoga class (ha ha, went to yoga in the morning).

You'll find me here, because I said so!

What Has Been Repeated Lately

Coming off of a week of stomach flu!!! Puke count: double digits---more than my age!!! (and that was in one day).

So today was the first day since Tuesday I was able to keep down solid food. Turns out, I like homemade Ramen---made a veggie broth and added my own noodles. Ate that three times today! And two popsicles, love em!!! Then had a baked red skin potato with salt and pepper only and the tester, some spinach with lemon. So far, holding down the fort.

Enough to venture out to my Thai massage workshop at Jaya. It was wonderful. I'm relaxed and I love learning about the body and the way we move. I'm definitely thinking this will be something I will keep learning about.

And now for the most fun in repetition. My friend Rachael always calls me out for the avacados that turn up in my poems---it's funny she remembered that from grad school and called me out on it at a reading a few weeks ago. It seems so embedded now that I don't even notice that they slip in. Maybe I just like the sound or the taste of them too much. Or maybe it's the pit or the images it conjures. Apparently, for me, it's a lot. Then, I was showing Bruce some poems and he pointed out that mantles/fireplaces, melting, and breasts came up in two poems out of ten. And now, thinking about my own work, I also know I like winter, radiator, lace, anything having to do with memory and the combination of that which.

Anyone else have any thoughts about this? I feel like there should be some poem interpretation going on. Reb, where's my online quiz to tell me about this???

Why I Love Carla at Jaya

All Levels Benefit Class taught by Carla Stangenberg
Saturday March 29th from 2-3:30 pm

To help us celebrate Women’s History Month, please join us for a yoga class to benefit The New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA). Practicing with you will be Carly Sachs, a local Jaya yogi and published poet, whose anthology, the why and later, an anthology of poems about rape and sexual assault was recently released by Deep Cleveland press. The book will also be for sale for the month of March, along with hip t-shirts and proceeds from these items will also be donated to NYSCASA. None of the profit from these items or the class goes to Jaya Yoga Center.

Suggested donation $15

If you cannot attend the class but would like to make a donation, you can do so at the front desk. RSVP namaste@jayayogacenter.com

The Reprise!

Yep, a modification of the first celebration (I didn't abandon the bourbon, just drank it at home.)My father buys Maker's Mark in the supersize bottle!). My dad and stepmom and I all have birthdays within a few weeks of each other, so every year we gather to celebrate. These are photos from our last Saturday morning trip to the West Side Market. It's too bad I was only window shopping. I love the vegetable aisles and the booth that sells over 100 kinds of pirogies! And I'm always a sucker for cupcakes and dill pickles. However, Grandma Frieda is no match for Sugar Sweet Sunshine---though I remember a cupcake shop in Hudson, Ohio that could be a worthy competitor.






I got some good inspiration for Ramona---saw the produce boxes outside that read: Andy Boy Broccoli and Head Man Cabbage. I'm still chuckling :) And here's one of her latest favorite recipes!





Sweet/Sour Broccoli Salad



Broccoli florets
Green Onion
Green/Red seedless grapes
Sugar/Splenda
Red tip lettuce
slivered almonds
red wine vinegar
soy sauce
olive oil






Combine the broccoli, green onion, grapes and torn lettuce in a bowl and set aside Saute or oven crisp the almonds Whisk together the vinegar, sugar, soy and olive oil Pour over the broccoli mixture and add the almonds. Toss to fully coat and refrigerate...preferably from 4-6 hours.

~

And some shout outs:

Susan Cronin and Octopus! I love the scratch outs in the poem---the idea of seeing a process---of being able through language to engage us in a way that shows more vulnerability.






Matthew Thornburn for his fellowship. What a guy---such a talented poet and all around good guy!

New York Driver

Well, it's official---it's a new era---sans Ohio license! I'm feeling a little naked. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing :)

Yes, We Did Drink All This Bourbon!

and I'm still able to type up a blog post!!! Of course my personal favorite was the one labeled as "Hazmat" due to the high alcohol content which prevents you from putting this in your flask on commercial flights---anyone dare me to try? Hats off to you Mr. Stagg!!!

Lucky

What's cooler than the jukebox at Commonweath, Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Ladybird, Woodford Reserve, and Jack Daniels and hot apple cider?

My friends and family!! This was the best birthday ever!!! I woke up quite sober (only had 3 drinks last night) and ready for yoga (at noon) and Russ's Bourbon Tasting (after that). Talk about Namaste and Nirvana!!!

Some highlights include, being sung happy birthday and getting to take bites out of everyone's cupcakes so I could try them all. I think Sugar Sweet Sunshine is the winner though...

Having the guy across the bar buy drinks for Brooke and I and send them over via the bartender. So 40's classic. He chatted for a minute with me by the jukebox and told me I was beautiful and then let me be with my friends. I've never been hit on in such a gentlemanly way. And I didn't have to shut him down or try and get out of it.

Meeting some random hipster dudes who are starting a magazine and having them think I was an MFA student!!!

And having the promise of Amy bringing a super famous and fabulous poet that I adore to The Silverleaf sometime in the next few weeks. I'll be able to write a poem called, making a martini for_____ or _____ likes his bourbon on the rocks!

but really, just chatting it up with the people I care about. I actually felt like I got to have good conversations with everyone. If this is any indication about the year to come, I'm the luckiest gal in Brooklyn.

Birthday Thoughts

Lately, I've been thinking about community and the ways in which we identify ourselves. I've also been thinking about who I am and what I want---in this moment, and what I think I will want for the future. I was making myself crazy working on this---I do miss Ohio and I know that will surprise a lot of folks if I end up back home next year. Myself included.

I haven't been the most active or observant person lately---even though I'm around them all the time at Drisha and I shy away from group Shabbats. But there is something that pulls me about Judaism. On Sunday I met Chana Rothman---who I like to call the Jewish Ani DiFranco! I'm still not sure how my religion and my art share a space in my heart, but they do---maybe in the way we articulated in our artists' class while talking about Ramban---how the body and the soul luckily work to find a synergy, but often struggle to work with one another. So even though I'm not sure how I feel about committing whole heartedly, I had to apply for that fellowship. I've been reading Patricia Weaver Francisco's memoir, Telling, and in one chapter she talks about how a rape will change your perspective about G-d and goodness. It sounds obvious, but that never occurred to me. I'm wondering how that's manifested itself in my life.

I'm also thinking about staying in New York and staying on part time at Drisha or at least to be here to collaborate with Dages and Basya. To accomplish this end, I'm back to more of a regular bar schedule as of the end of the month. I think this will mean cutting back on some classes to find a balance, but it's needed. I don't like not having a regular, steady income. I'm trying to figure out how to be the woman I am and the woman I want to be. After all, I'm 29 today!!!

Anyone up for a not so lazy Sunday

Feb. 10th
8:00 p.m. Reading at The Parkside Lounge.
New York City.
With Singer, Chana Rothman (http://www.myspace.com/chanarothman)
and a few of my fellow Drisha fellows: Amy Gottleib, Eve Grubin, and Sarah Heller.

And another reason why I love New York---was able to buy all necessary items to make an ice cream sundae tonight on the way home from the movies! Stopped at two bodegas b/c one didn't have the whipped cream :)

Why and Later panel update

The panel exceeded my expectations. The room was emotionally warm, receptive, curious, and many writer friends came out to support the work I'm doing. It's strange, now knowing that this book is out there. More so than my first book, my own book. Because this one is much more personal. And has the potential to make many more waves, or at least waves in a different way. I'm bowled over. I sold 23 books and was able to make connections with so many people---women who work for crisis centers, poets who want to plan readings, and just allies in every way possible. I knew this would change me, but I didn't know what this change would feel like. I'm trying to move with it and see where it takes me. I'm grateful to my panelists for their wonderful dialogue. We did try to tape it so here's hoping it worked! I'm almost out of the first batch of t-shirts and more are on their way! I've been trying to read up more and do more yoga as a way of processing it all. There's so much to say, but when I come to the page or the screen, I can't seem to get it down.

More to come...of course, it always does...

AWP Panel with Cupcakes on Top

Just found out a friend of mine is also staying with Uncle Kimpton for the AWP opening! We'll be swirling our fancy drinks a few blocks down wind of all the hubub that night! I'm really excited---picked up the flyers for all the why and later business and on my way to Kinkos, I found an old friend on the Upper West Side! Good ol' Magnolia in a new location. How's that for kosher vittles? And how come I'm not a cupcake blogger?

~

Friday, Feb. 1
12:00-1:15
New York Suite
Hilton, 4th Floor
F146. Speaking Through Silence: Women Respond to Rape and Assault.
(Carly Sachs, Julia Spicher Kasdorf, Molly Fisk, Linda McCarriston, and Harriet Levin)

Too often, rape and assault silences women, making them afraid to trust, afraid of their own bodies, afraid to name what has happened and what continues to happen. In a way, the writing of these poems becomes a way of healing. However, this can often be a challenging process---turning personal trauma into art. In this panel, female poets will discuss their poems from the anthology, the why and later. The panelists will speak to the process of writing these difficult poems, publishing these poems, and how they view their role as a writer writing about rape and sexual assault.

Fiction, for the very first time!

I'm grateful to Richard Peabody for including me in Gravity Dancers, the 4th collection of fiction by Washington Area Women. I don't know what story it will be yet, but this is my first actual story publication! The F. Scott prize was great, the first recognition for fiction, but this time, a story will actually see the light of the page! Coincidentally, Richard was the judge for that contest and so perhaps that's how he found out about my not so secret anymore fiction writing...

I'm in that lovely awkward uncomfortable place where I pinch myself and say, is this really happening?! And I'm nervous, what will people think of this once it's out...I feel much more comfortable with my poetry, but as we all know, growing and change is not supposed to always feel "good," "easy," or even "right." So here goes. Richard has a great interview on WETA---I really like what he says about blending traditional fiction with experiemental, and finding a community and bringing people together through writing. I've been very lucky to have found one in DC with Reb and Sandra, Moira, and Michelle---similar introductions through being published in the same places or hanging out at the same readings. In a way, Richard reminds me of Maj, someone who plants himself down in one place and helps others to cultivate the land. Now, if only I could decide where I want my roots to go...

Whine, Wine!!!

Alas, even though I memorized, I didn't come home with the big prize. Ended up with 2 bottles of wine from the raffle! And ended up having a great night. The winner was the girl who had the most friends there to vote for her. But isn't that how the world works sometimes?

You can be the person who works the hardest, and still lose to someone who has connections. And this teaches to love your friends and family, because that will get you the farthest in life. Weird how nepotism and love dance together :) And it's all about trying new things and not worrying about the outcome of them.

I was shaking in my boots to actually perform vs. read. But it felt good...I don't know if this is the beginning of a slam career (probably not) but it was fun and sometimes, that's reason enough for me. J and I had a great conversation over dinner, how as you get older, you don't do things just for the sake of them anymore. Things have consequences and problems and outcomes...so, we'll drink those bottles and toast simply to joy (and maybe poems about tampons too!).

I Must Be Crazy

Because I am going to be one of the 15 in this:

POETRY SMACK DOWN 2008
A competition to benefit the world premier of Cherubina by Paul Cohen at the Sanford Meisner Theatre in Feb 2008.

When: Monday Jan 21st (8-10pm)
Where: Bowery Poetry Club
How Much: $20

What you get: An evening of knock-down drag out poetry competition. Fifteen poets will compete in front of a live audience to win a brand new iPhone. Comedian Jimmy Owens will MC the evening as poets fight to convince you that they deserve the Apple! Musical stylings by the Ransome Brothers. Door prizes and more!!!

How do I get in? To reserve a ticket to the poetry event of 2008, e-mail your name and number of tickets to cherubinatheplay@gmail.com

Where's Your Poet/Bartender?

I'm over here today!

New Look for 2008

So, by now you've noticed the new look to the blog---the blue and the fun additions of "buy the books" and "upcoming readings/events." And there's more to come! Pretty soon you'll be able to get your hands on your own "why and later" t! $10 from every shirt sold (I'm going to be selling them for $20) will be going back to rape crisis centers in some way, whether it's through cash donations, or getting them books. But, if you can't wait to get your mits on them, leave me a comment with your email and you'll be the first to have one---before the anybodies can buy them via a paypal transaction. Had no idea 2008 would make me more techie...I owe the amazing design of the cover of the book and the shirts to the amazing Kristina Bilonick. She's a fantastic artist and all around great person so check her out! I'm also working on an event at Jaya Yoga for March so there will be more yoga/poetry connections. And I have a new love in my life---it's Brooklyn!!! Brooke and I have been having some serious dinner parties. We made a fabulous chickpea pasta---here's the recipe and tonight it's porchini mushroom ravioli with spinach and fresh parm. or moz. cheese. So much fun to have a friend in your neighborhood! And found a new favorite local restaurant---Little D. They have a fantastic beer and wine selection---only one beer (Corsendock) was familiar and their mac and cheese is the best I've ever had! And on the academic front---so far no bites on the tenure track jobs, but the steam sequence is on someone's syllabus at Wayne State University and just found out that someone is including steam in their ma thesis on post-narrative poetry.

For Sale!!!

I'm pleased to say that after over seven years in the making, the why and later is officially on the market! Press releases and everything else will be coming soon. More info for our AWP Panel and events to come...even T shirts and yoga events....so stay tuned, this is the quiet release. I just flew back from Tampa but you all know me, I can't hold anything in!

The important thing to know about the book is that half of the profits will be donated back to rape crisis centers, so not only are you supporting my efforts and the poetry of the women in the anthology, but you'll be helping people through their healing and hopefully making the world a better place.

I truly believe the writing can make a difference and that language is more powerful than we have ever thought it to be. You can purchase the book here, directly through the press.

Where To Begin?

As the year begins, I'm not sure where my writing is. I'm writing now from my hotel room before I work on a new short story---my first night in florida, strong images of Geauga Lake crept into my mind and so we'll see where that goes.

I'm working on too many projects--Ramona, the museum poems, the memorizer poems, other poems, WWPH Press stuff, setting up readings for the why and later.

I'm really excited to have a panel at AWP and I will be trying to really promote this so here's the basics:

Speaking Through Silence: Women respond to Rape and Assault
Friday, February 1, 2008
12:00-1:15PM
Panelists: Molly Fisk, Julia Kasdorf, Alice Anderson, and Harriet Levin

Too often rape and assault silences women, making them afraid to trust, afraid of their own bodies, afraid to name what has happened and what continues to happen. In a way, the writing of these poems becomes a way of healing. However, this can often be a challenging process---turning personal trauma into art. In this panel, female poets will discuss their poems from the anthology, the why and later. The panelists will speak to the process of writing these difficult poems, publishing these poems, and how they view their role as a writer writing about rape and sexual assault.


~

I've been pinching myself b/c it's hard to believe that a book I've been working on for seven years will be released this month. And having a project that will hopefully raise much awareness and money for victims of rape and sexual assault is something that I have wanted to do for a long time. There are also crazy readings and t shirts in the works!

I was asked why I picked this topic at a holiday party and even now, it's still hard for me to say it. I think the dedication of the book says it the way I want: for all of us.

This book is not just for people whose lives have been touched by the subject matter, but for all of us as we struggle through our worlds, both internal and external.

Part of why we write and need to read is because we are part of a community. We need to communicate with others about our world. Kathi Wolfe says this in a great post here.

And so begins the year, a new book, and a chance to do something more with writing. It's been getting dark early and I think that makes me focus more inside, but the light is coming, it's after the solstice and as Maj once wrote to me: Shine! Shine! Shine!

Which is also what Tyra Banks said as I was watching America's Next Top Model on the elliptical trainer. You have to Shine even when other people are putting you down.

Tonight, it's shimmery eye shadow. I am on vacation, after all!

Less: The New Year

I'm all about resolutions---I think it brings out the organization in me---I'm a compulsive list maker and love crossing things off. I'm one of those who thrives on being busy and always having something to do next. So my resolution for this year is to be less like my nature. Just a little though. I really want to try and relax or at least have relax be part of the list! I've been practicing that over break---been travelling and catching up with friends. Susan and Fritz introduced us to Franny's and it's now my favorite (in addition to Rose Water) restaurants in the city. Their bar menu is amazing---anyone know what kummel is?? Delicious, that's what! And when Susan spilled wine in my almost empty pasta, the waiter quickly came with Wine Off and a full new plate of pasta!

Today it's yoga and girl time with Brooke before we head off to Florida tomorrow! So there will be less of me online, and more of me poolside!

Tending Bar and Other Things

You'll find me at the Silverleaf tonight serving up yummy cocktails and soon you may also find me here and here! Not on Gerald Stern or Richard Peabody exactly, but you clever ones will figure it out.

A Shared Sentiment

The Jewish Christmas...

The Covenant: A Mini Review

My aunt bought me Naomi Ragen's The Covenant for Hanukkah. I was a little skeptical at first because of the cover design. A woman with a huge Jewish Star on her neck---I was thinking it was going to be more in the category of Judaica rather than Jewish art (the latter being what I find moving and powerful and the Judaica being more commercial and cheesy). Thank goodness I committed to reading it. While there were some passages that seemed a little cliched, overall, I loved her poetic narrative---Ragen knows how to weave in images to convey just the right sentiment. Her idea of wishing life was like a beaded necklace---if you made a mistake, you could just restring---completely apt and gorgeous. Her prose was especially stunning when describing a suicide bombing at a bus stop. She made the moment stretch on and crammed so much into a few seconds.

I'm hooked! Luckily she has 6 more novels for me to read!

Brooke came over yesterday and we made an amazing salad---homemade dressing with balsamic vinegar, olive oil, and pesto and she helped me sort out an idea for another story---I'm going to try and do some fiction over the Drisha break---seems I can only write fiction when I have long blocks of time on my hands---so I'm amazed at people like Ragen who can sustain a novel. I like to draft everything in one sitting---guess I will have to change that if I ever want to write a novel...

Late Blooming Fashionista

In high school and college, I was the girl who owned fifteen pairs of overalls and make up constituted that glitter goo for my eyes. I remember when I showed up to go out for the evening in overalls and Jillian set me straight, lending me her tight cords and doing my hair.

And now, 10 years later, I'm the girl who Sandra calls a "product horse" when we roomed at AWP last year. I'm not sure what happened---perhaps it was going to grad school in New York or never feeling like one of the pretty girls of the cool click.

I don't even remember when I fell in love with Betsey Johnson as a designer. She's quirky and weird and somehow a little classic and so it was a great Hanukkah present to get a gift card on Friday and the OCD me, was at the boutique this weekend and got these numbers. (though the blue one is just a pic--mine is in green!) One will be for Erin's wedding (see, totally not frivilously dress shopping!)

A Library of Brandy

(though I went for the bourbon!)

The Brandy Library--oh, you'd thought I'd forgotten, is one of the most beautiful bars I've been to. However since I am a writer and it looks like a library (though who doesn't want to cozy up and have a rare bourbon every now and again?) I was quite impressed. The service is amazing. I was lost as soon as I got out of the subway and immediately someone from the bar got on Jonathan's cell phone to help me out. They were patient while I was crossing streets and telling them what I was standing in front of. They recognized me as the "lost girl" as soon as I opened the door, took my coat and brought me to my table without making me feel embarassed.

The shelves have moving ladders and the servers climb up to grab your rare brown liquor and pour at your table--almost like wine service. The menu is a zillion pages long and so you can get quite immersed in reading---it's a place that I would keep coming back to just to try new things. I asked my server to recommend a bourbon based on my favorites, Woodford Reserve and Basil Hayden's. She came up with Eagle Reserve! And paired with the eclairs, I was in heaven---bourbon and dessert, not an easy combo.

A bartender must do her research you know. I know, even here, it's quite academic. I mean, anyone can pour a rum and coke, but to know all the proper glassware (I'm still working on that one), and all the nuances of the various types of liquors and cocktails, that's a lifetime of learning my friends. And I take my work seriously :)

As we were leaving, we were presented with a long, small box and was told it was for our breakfast. In the cab, we found out we were holding on to a box of biscotti in a blue engraved box! It was thoughtful without being overdone.

It fit all of my bar qualifications, classy (I don't want to be around annoying drunks or even well dressed ones either), solid selections, somewhere I could sit down and have a conversation and listen to great jazz in the background. I hate to say it, but I think it's my new favorite bar in the city.

You're no Fun!

That's what I was thinking to myself lately. I've been all work and no play. Well, not exactly, but I was realizing that I wasn't taking that much time just to be. Everything was always put in the planner, go here, go there, do yoga, cook, chores, write, Drisha, bartend, etc. The actual me time besides yoga, not too often. So since yesterday at 7 p.m. I decided to PLAY!

Brooke turned 30th and so we skated at Central Park. It's not that huge of a rink, but to skate with the city lights and buildings hulking over and the trees of the park all lit up, totally something special. And to watch Brooke and Meghan cram all their stuff in one locker, priceless amount of giggles! Then Jonathan and I headed back to Kitchen Bar where all the regulars were there. Nothing like Old Bays fries and a hot toddy to finish the evening.

Tonight we're off to the Brandy Library! Jonathan just made the reservation and found the place without me. I'm so tickled and excited to get all dressed up for date night. Will it be the stinger or fuzzy ruffles for me (those are the names of the cocktails!)? Stay tuned to hear more about tonight's debauchery!

And after a fabulous yoga class at good ol' LL, I met Meghan for lunch at Buddha Bodai and then headed over to Pearl River for some crazy shopping. I now have a purple dancing buddha for my dresser remind me to raise my arms up over my head and laugh. It actually looks like one of the postures we did today. A dancing something or other and I was able to hold a tree pose in handstand today for about 10-20 seconds! I'm not even going to attempt to find photos of what I did, but it was cool and I'm sure it will happen again so go to the 10 am Friday class if you want to do it too!

I'm relaxing, enjoying my jasmine tea and the new poetry prospects---I've only been chill and collected for 24 hrs. and in that time, I got an invitation to read in Oklahoma and to submit poems for a way cool magazine with a heartfelt and wonderful email from the editor.

Here's to your weekend! Go PLAY!

KGB Comrades??

Please join us for The Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel - Second Floor Release Party
Monday Dec. 3, 2007 - 7:30PM

KGB Monday Night Poetry Reading Series
85 East 4th Street., New York, NY 10003

Readers: Hugh Behm-Steinberg, Ana Bozicevic-Bowling, Bruce Covey, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Kate Greenstreet, Shafer Hall, editor Reb Livingston, Justin Marks, Gina Myers, Carly Sachs, Allyson Salazar, Evie Shockley, and Nicole Steinberg

Holiday Season

This time of year always gets me thinking of where I am in life and what happiness means for me---being able to define what is working well in my life and figuring out how to change what I'm not so sure of. I'm not sure why I'm already thinking of my New Year's resolutions---esp. since I just assessed my life for Rosh Hashanah, but it seems to be a theme---now that I'm getting older. I've always had a combo of laissez-fare and serious ocd organization. Not sure how this dichotomy works, but somehow it does.

So my questions to myself are, where do I want to be as an artist and where do I want to be as a woman. Anyone else care to share your answers? I'm feeling both young and old, successful and not quite there yet. Carla, my yoga teacher would say, yes, these things are normal. You feel your feelings.

I'm wondering if my problem is that I've never really clarified my goals. I want to write, teach, be happy and be in love and to be healthy and not have to struggle. Am I being too loosey-goosey?

Some of us at Drisha have been talking about how women treat/view themselves---how we often appear wishy-washy and apologetic. We begin sentences: I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm right, but I'm thinking...

And I know I've always had a hard time even deciding what to order from a menu, it all looks good. And now even with my poems, I'm not sure where they're going. I'm posting a draft below. I don't want to talk too much about the new projects because it seems that once you articulate something about a project, then you lose some of the discovery. So I'm just going to keep on trying to feel what I'm feeling.


Thanksgiving

What if I were to love you,
transfer blood from one
to the next, then does one
have a piece of the other,
breath of memory or dream
walking down, an opera
coming in from the window---

my voice or yours? Do you remember
where we began, that first taste,
you sitting in your chair,
me, with flowers
in my hair.

How then, did it come to this?
You with your stone,
me with my mirror---

for these do we give thanks?
Put the story on the table
and cut it up. Swallow
and keep it down.

The bits of blood in it.
It will not be sectioned
like a casserole, sliver
of pie or moon, the children
banging their spoons.

Thanksgiving

sans turkey this year! My alternative is butternut squash pizza---wonder how many members of my family will try it! I'm from the midwest where poultry seems to be the standard dinner fare. My mom can make chicken a zillion ways and is a whiz in the kitchen, but my "no meat" often finds her stumped!

But regardless of the fare, we're all really celebrating each other and all the joys we do have. I have a lot to be thankful for, I am very lucky to have the family that I do, the friends that I do, the fellowship, apt. etc...

but does it get any better than this? Here's to you Moira!!! A hearty virtual Mazel Tov!

Weekend Palms

Tonight at dinner after the reading, the great swami MP read my palm. Apparently, I have a writer's fork, will not have children and will live to be close to 100. She read everyone else's hands at the table and was pretty right on. J also had no children on his hands too. Hmmm.

While I do believe in this kind of knowledge---a woman earlier today read about how the Turkish women in the village where she had lived knew she was having twins before American medicine was able to pick up on that---I'm also a believer in that nothing is ever 100%. Lines and people can lie. Though I have to say, I wasn't too shaken about the news. Even a certain someone has indicated that I may not be the right type to mother. I'm not sure what that type is, or really, how do any of us know how we will shake out in the long run.

I don't really think anyone could have put a damper on my weekend. This actually confirmed some of my own thoughts and fears about the future and the kind of life I will have. I used to think it was my feminist lit. course in college, but perhaps it was destiny in a weird form. Though, yes, I know you can be feminist, and a writer, and a mother and an artist and...

Reb is proof that one woman can do it all and we talked about how people are perceived via their blogs and how we all think everyone else has a fabulous life. And of course, if we're our own editors, why not? I mean, who really wants to read about my fabulous time of sorting the recycling and watering the plants? Or how many asses she wipes a day? She gave a fabulous reading and looked good in my panty hose! And we had a fantastic decadent brunch at Rose Water before she had to jet set back to DC.

And if that wasn't enough of a weekend, that only covered half of it. Saturday night I heard Pharoah's Daughter for the first time. I know Basya from my classes at Drisha, but to see her on stage was really awe inspiring. I've been realizing how amazing Drisha is---all the incredible women---I had had much trepidation about being judged and feeling like the black sheep, but these women are cool as hell.

And then the reading today at 440 gallery where I met even more incredible writers---it was the real deal, not people pretending to be hip and writerly, but the writerly I love. The ones who really mean it, the people who open up their lives, our lives and help us to see the world from all angles. In yoga we bent our heads lower than our hearts so that we honor the feeling part of us, rather than the thinking part.

Carla tells us to be with our feelings and Reb tells me I blog too much after yoga that I sound like a new age chic. But whatever, her camera turned up and I was right so there must be something there right?

First Reading in the City as a resident!!!

JOIN US FOR A READING AT PARK SLOPE'S 440 GALLERY!

WHEN: Sunday, November 18th from 4:30-6:00 pm
WHERE: 440 Gallery, 440 Sixth Avenue (at 9th St., F to 7th Ave.)
CONTACT: Brooke Shaffner at brshaffner@hotmail.com
Admission Free

WHO:

CARLY SACHS Carly Sachs is currently an Arts Fellow at the Drisha
Institute. Her first book of poems, The Steam Sequence, won the 2006Washington Writers' Publishing House First Book Prize. Her secondbook, The Why and Later, an anthology of poems that women have writtenabout rapeand sexual assault, is forthcoming from Deep Cleveland Press.

R.A. VILLANUEVAR.A. Villanueva holds graduate and undergraduate
- Hide quoted text -degrees from Rutgers University. Twice awarded a Geraldine R. DodgeEducator scholarship to the Fine Arts Work Center, he is involved withliterary outreach programs as a teacher of composition and creativewriting. His poems have appeared in Crab Orchard Review and RATTLE. AKundiman fellow and a semi- finalist for the 2007 "Discovery" / TheNation Poetry Prize, he is currently a MFA candidate at New YorkUniversity, where he serves as Poetry Editor of Washington Square.

JOLIE GUY
Jolie Guy, November's featured artist, is a sculptor whose works arecomposed of a series of lines, like a drawing. Each piece begins witha piece of paper cut into a single line, to which other lines areadded. Each line is cut by hand. With each cut, the paper gentlyarches. Each new line of paper is placed on top of the previous lines,resting on, and sometimes threading within, these, to form a pile. Theearliest of these sculptures utilized collected paper tags fromcandies. A subsequent series investigated the building up of lines ofonly one color. In this most recent work, different colored papers aremixed, affecting the weight, lightness, and temperature of each form.

About 440 Gallery: Park Slope's only artist-run gallery, a jewel boxspace offering an alternative venue for nine Brooklyn artists. 440Gallery seeks to present surprising, unexpected art to the communitythrough exhibitions, talks, readings and events centered around directcontact with the artist. Open Thursdays and Fridays from 4-7 pm, andSaturdays and Sundays from 12-6 pm, or by appointment.

Accidental Meat

Last night I almost had meat again. It was a misorder on my part. I didn't read the first line of the dish---pancetta in the pumpkin pasta. It sounds like some crazy alliterative cook's concoction. Luckily, Jonathan had ordered the fish and so we traded! What a prince! Ramona was batting her eyelashes all night. Maybe I should lay off the old fashioned--all that chai infused bourbon went straight to my head!

Luckily, I came out unscathed and we got to see Natalie after her reading at Bluestockings. She is such a champ--coming into the city for the reading and taking the early am train so she can be back at her desk this morning (I'm in my pjs writing this). I always knew she was an amazing person and poet, but something about holding the anthology that features her along with 35 other amazing women, made me realize how lucky I am to call her a friend.

Since I arrived too late to even fit in the door for her actual reading, I sat in Starbucks and proofed the bluelines for my anthology and should hopefully finish that up this morning. The t-shirts that Kristina made arrived and I can't tell you how excited I am to see how all of this work is coming together.

Shame on me...

I realize I've been lax with the blogging. I don't know if it's because I'm adjusting to my new life here in New York and I'm not home as much as I used to be---so there's less time of day that I'm actually online and I'm wondering if maybe I'm getting less interesting as I find myself struggling about things to write about. Or maybe it's just that so much is happening in my life, I haven't quite caught up with myself. This month's theme at Jaya is about binding and release and as usual, it got me thinking about my own life and how I'm often very hard on myself. I get very focused and it's hard for me to just be. I think instead, I have a lot of do. For example:

1. I start bartending this week at The Silverleaf Tavern. Back to work for Uncle Kimpton, even though I'm only a fill in.

2. Found out that Nextbook will be taking 3 poems (and getting paid for them!) Their poetry section will be new and hopefully up on the web soon.

3. Cut down my lecture classes at Drisha so I could focus on writing on Tuesday mornings and Fridays (so perhaps more time online afterall...though I was very strict with myself on Friday and did all my AWP applications and submitted some poems and fiction)

4. The blueline is in markk's hands and so I'll be getting my copy this week and then it's officially to press for the why and later!

And there are two amazing readings next week:

~November 8: NYC Release of Word Warriors, hosted by Eve Ensler at BlueStockings Books. www.bluestockingsbooks.org

~FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 6:30 P.M.
Reception afterwards * Broadsides for sale

Center for Book Arts
Broadsides Reading Series
Poets Amy Lemmon and David Lehman. Organized by Sharon Dolin Suggested Donation $5 CBA members/ $10 non-members

http://www.centerforbookarts.org/events/default.asp#94
28 West 27th Street, 3rd Floor New York, New York 10001 (212) 481-0295

And going back to the bartending---found a great liquor/wine store in the neighborhood---and the shopkeeper let me taste some of his favorite vodkas from Poland. Elderberry and Honey! I have to admit, that even this bourbon girl went home a little happier yesterday afternoon!

Beauty or Braun?

I broke our ceramic trash can tonight, by just putting the lid down...quite a feat for someone 5'0"!!! I feel like the hulk in Joan's house...I'll add that to the tally of plates, cups, and blenders! Maybe I should be Blunderpants instead for Halloween...

Private Yoga Class

Well, not really...but due to the sucky weather, only 2 of us trekked out to yoga class. We were rewarded by getting to pick the cool poses we wanted to do and have much of David's attention. I was also able to get into a full handstand and balance for a little while! I know a true yogi wouldn't gloat about her accomplishments, but there's something about being able to do something that you weren't able to do very well before. Especially b/c I feel like at some point I want to do yoga teacher training.

I know, I know, when will I settle down and stop all this nonsense and get a real job. Truth be told, I hope never. I know that's a strange thought, but after a little soul searching, working, trying different things, you get to know what you like and what you don't. Besides bartending and being a professor, I don't think I've kept any job longer than a year. But neither has another friend of mine and he also seems to get along fine. He did point out that I will have two books out before 30! Too bad I can't redeem all those gold stars from grade school for cash because being a writer (at least not yet) doesn't seem to pay the bills as well as I wish it did.

Today I also got back in touch with a friend from high school who is also in New York. We talked a bit about the old days and my new/old friend remarked about how so many people are married and have kids and how there's not even a goldfish in his life. I told him that happiness doesn't have to be the way everyone else sees it.

My fortune today reminded me of that.

Something and Nothing

I spent the weekend doing a whole lot of nothing. Something I haven't done in a long time. I remember once telling a yoga teacher that I don't relax well---I have a hard time breathing and being still. I always want the wild poses. Being upside down, walking up a wall. Something that feels like I've accomplished something. But today Carla talked about everything being a meditation. From just standing still to picking out a cute outfit---everything can be a meditation. And that the most important part of our practice is how we take our practice off the mat and into our lives.

Mom's in town and she met me after yoga class for a movie. We slid over so that the older couple could sit closer to the aisle---no one else offered them their seats---not realizing that they wanted to be on the aisle so they could get up and go to the bathroom. We saw Tyler Perry's Why I Got Married. A wonderful portrait into the ins and outs of relationships. A perfect Sunday movie.

I think we've had one of the most relaxed weekend full of nothing with a whole lot of something.
And the big something is that the anthology is going to the printer tomorrow. I should have the mock up in a few weeks. So, it will officially be published in Nov.

And a secret someone wants to publish another book of mine in 2010! Looks like I've got to get something together.

Under the Weather...

I so so hate being sick! Though it often informs me of when I need to slow down and pace myself. I had to cancel my first reading which totally bums me out, but the upside is that I will most likely be able to reschedule and that two days off isn't the end of the world. Though when you're stuck on the couch, it seems like forever.

So, yesterday I was so happy when I got an email from Dan to let me know that his review of the steam sequence is online at The Growler!

And looks like we're getting close to go to print with the anthology---and Joan, my lovely land lady stopped over to visit, pick up some things and she brought me medicine from the pharmacy. Turns out our neighbor downstairs is sick so I'm going to drop off some non chicken chicken soup. I think it's working as I'm feeling much better...or perhaps it's the community and having people to talk to that makes me feel not as pathetic as I think! Perhaps mind over matter really does matter!

F Scott Fitzgerald

The workshop went really well---I even had some of the participants come up to me afterwards and thank me and ask me where else they could take classes with me. I was so honored. And I had been so nervous---not sure how people would take me, this young thing walking into the room. I've always been someone who gets funny about age. I think that comes because not only do I look young, but I act young. I still see myself as someone becoming who she is, someone who is a student, and someone who isn't sure of exactly what she wants yet---though I'm wondering if this is more a product of my personality rather than my age. Though, things are shifting. I feel a bit more comfortable in my own shoes after this, a little more on top of the world---though as soon as that happens, I always slip up. I've always told people, these things are like a wheel. I wasn't too happy with my workshop at the Havurah Institute, so it makes sense that this one went so well. Winning and losing always seem to be a balance, you just have to trust that the wheels will keep turning.

And speaking of slipping up---I've never been someone who jumps to join causes, but this little game will blow you away. Even with all the recycling and vegetarianism, I'm still not doing enough for the earth. Play this game and find out how you do!

OCHO #13 and Saint Ann's Review

The thirteenth issue of OCHO magazine is now available! As it was guest edited by Word of Mouth Host and Curator, Meghan Punschke, you can find new work from many of the WoM poets you know and love in print! http://www.lulu.com/content/1286797

OCHO #13 Features:- Cover art and Introduction by WoM Curator, Meghan Punschke-
Poetry by WoM Poets: Jefferey Morgan, Carly Sachs, Peter Moore, Matthew Thorburn, Eva Salzman, and Kate Greenstreet.-
Plus... Poetry by Laura Van Prooyen and Geoffrey Gatza.
And, the magnificent illustrations of Joseph Lappie.

What are you waiting for? Get your copy today!!! (Click on the link below to purchase through Lulu online)
http://www.lulu.com/content/1286797

~

And just found out that one of my poems from August was accepted for the next issue of The Saint Ann's Review!

The Monday Report

Left the house at 8 and just now getting home! Such is the life of a Drisha girl...had an amazing first class in Talmud---so much that now I have a new poetry manuscript in play. I'm not going to talk about the work yet as it's just doodles in my margins, but it will be a series. I think I'm definitely someone who likes to work with poems that I know are interconnected and work with each other to create something larger. I remember when I couldn't do this---when each poem was entirely its own entity.

Honor Moore has these amazing long poems that really feel like fabric unfurling, packing so much metaphor and dream imagery with sad and sexy lines. In some ways, her poems feel like the nude painting she sometimes writes about. Both exposed, but hidden, something felt, but not seen. She gave an incredible reading at the KGB tonight.

Found out more about the crazy man who drives around our neighborhood playing Oldies music violently loud. His name is Frank and he's bored. That's according to Pineapple, Peach, and Hamburger---the neighborhood kids who hang out on our stoop. (Apparently ours is the best on the block!) I told Pineapple (she's the ringleader) one day that I'll grab our car and follow him around playing my music. She told me she'd ride shotgun if I ever did it :)

I'm an Outlaw!

And so is Ramona. I'm towards the very end of the show, but you should listen to the whole thing anyway!

F Scott Fitzgerald

I fell in love with him in 10th grade English when we read The Great Gatsby. There are so many memorable moments in that book---The eyes on the billboard, the drinks in the hotel in the city, Gatsby's clothing, and that green light at the end of the dock. I think what I love most about the book is how much the images deepen the novel...so much meaning packed into things so much so that the entire world is made up of millions of symbols.

So, I'm so excited to be teaching the poetry workshop! But the bigger news is that on a whim, I had entered the short story competition, and will be getting an honorable mention for my entry. Not a bad welcome into those murky waters of fiction!

So, if you're in DC next weekend, drop by the author tables, take a workshop, or come watch me try not to trip as I climb the stairs. I'll be heading out to a bar on U street to celebrate my cousin's birthday as well as my first fiction cash prize. Dare I spend it all on bourbon!?

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12th Annual F. Scott Fitzgerald Literary Conference, Inc.
William Kennedy Honored; All New Workshop Leaders Featured in a Unique Opportunity to Learn from the Pros

ROCKVILLE, Md., October 3, 2007 – The 12th Annual F. Scott Fitzgerald Literary Conference will take place on Saturday, Oct. 13 at the Montgomery College, Rockville Campus from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. The event includes workshops, discussions and salons featuring leading instructors and professionals in the international writing world. Areas of discussion include fiction, non-fiction, screenwriting, poetry, mysteries, sports writing, the short story, curing writer’s block, children’s fiction and more. Jay Parini hosts a keynote address entitled, “Landscapes: A Writer’s Map into Fiction.” All new workshop leaders will be leading discussions and award-winning author William Joseph Kennedy will accept the prestigious F. Scott Fitzgerald Award for outstanding achievement in American literature.

Event activities include a tour of Fitzgerald’s Rockville haunts and a screening of Kennedy’s movie Ironweed. There will be many opportunities during the day to visit with writers, have books signed, and share ideas with fellow literature buffs and writing enthusiasts.

The evening awards ceremony begins at 7:15 p.m. with opening remarks by Dr. Judy Ackerman, vice president and provost of Montgomery College, followed by an address by Kennedy.

For information and registration, go to www.peerlessrockville.org/FSF or call 301-309-9461.

Sponsored by: the City of Rockville, Woodfin Suites Hotels, Montgomery College, Gazette Newspapers, Arts and Humanities Council of Montgomery County, Peerless Rockville Historic Preservation, Ltd., and the F. Scott Fitzgerald Society.

Shake that Lulav!

Today I decided to get up early and attend a prayer service at Drisha for the holiday even though we're technically on holiday break. I had remembered shaking the lulav and etrog at my college's Hillel, but that was way back when. Sometimes I contemplate how much religion matters in daily life, what it offers to us. Sometimes I wonder if my yoga has seeped into that realm. Maybe I'm a simple person. The body is the realm I can relate to---to feel and see movement, to be more involved in a process. I think that's why I like cooking as well---the idea that something is being made. It's much less tangible in prayer. So I offer up this:

Prayer, Hoshanah Morning

What prayers are ours,
we women carrying
lulav and etrog
this Hoshanah morning
Devorah wraps her tallis
tighter and we pray for
Judy, recovering from cancer.

I watch the way her arm bends
as she moves, almost pointing,
telling us: Here, there,
in front, behind, right, left.
The world is around us
and I think then to those
small acts of ours:

smacking willow leaves
against the floor for rain,
the man standing in protest
outside the embassy, or
the way you press your lips
to my forehead when the D train
goes over the bridge, rocking us
toward the city,

what possesses us to do these things,
what difference does it make,
my hand perfumed with etrog’s shadow
the sweetness worn off by the time
I get home, the one I hoped would
kiss my fingers, still, as I turned the key.

Find me back in the Beltway!

Beltway Poetry Quarterly is now online--and what a terrific issue it is! "The Evolving City" is an anthology of 36 poems that address the multiplicity of ways that cities change over time.

http://www.beltwaypoetry.com

Co-edited by Teri Ellen Cross and Kim Roberts, the featured authors are:

Abdul Ali * Joseph Awad * Kimberly L. Becker * Japheth Brubaker * Rick Cannon * Kenneth Carroll * Grace Cavalieri * William Claire * Ramola D * Heather Davis * Mark DeFoe * Greta Ehrig * Mark Ftizgerald * Martin Galvin * Brian Gilmore * Fannie H. Gray * Daniel Gutstein * Jessica Haney * Joyce Latham * Grisella Martinez * E. Ethelbert Miller * Kathleen O'Toole * Jose Padua * Linda Pastan * John Peacock * Elizabeth Poliner * Katy Richey * Joseph Ross * Carly Sachs * David Salner * Kate Powell Shine * Tanya Snyder * Dan Vera * Joshua Weiner * Rosemary Winslow * Katherine E. Young

We hope you enjoy it!http://www.beltwaypoetry.com

trying for namaste

If only I could take my yoga practice on the mat, off the mat and into real life. Since I've started doing yoga, my body has become more flexible---more able to stretch itself and see new possiblities and to play and to make the most out of postures, movement, breath. To go with the vinyasa. But why can't my life be more like a dance? Why can't I flow as well when there's no mat under my feet?

*

I had a wonderful conversation with the famous E. about diversity and why our press doesn't have more of a representative author base being in the D.C. area. And how we have to change that immediately for the betterment of the press. We also talked a lot about voice and character and what naturally occurs in our writing and how direct or indirect everything can be. We also talked about the idea of writing as bringing the voice of the other closer to your own and how we can see both similarity and difference while remaining true to the story and what in fact does this kind of truth imply. I'm completely not doing justice to the conversation, but it was wonderful, relevant, and productive. Guidelines for the book contest can be found here.

*

I think I accomplished enough to feel satisfied for the day---yoga bright and early, new plans for press stuff, started those wheels turning. Worked on my workshop for the F. Scott Fitzgerald festival, interviewed by a reporter for an article about said literary festival, did email interview for didi's fabulous contribution to women in publishing, worked on Ramona poems, but somehow, it just doesn't feel right...

Though maybe that's part of it. Sometimes it just won't feel right. Or enough. Or gold star worthy.

WWPH Update and My Kitchen

Bruce's book is out! And it's gorgeous. The poems have been sitting with me for a while and in a way, Bruce reminds me of the sage heart, Maj Ragain. These men know the bones of words. Lick it clean, y'all.

And also out of the oven, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, one of my favorite fall things to bake. There's just something about making your own food. I'm realizing how busy my schedule is and how much I'm running around the city. Everything is a compromise. If I want to do yoga with my Drisha schedule, it will mean dinner in the city most nights a week, which will mean cooking will only really happen 3 nights a week. So these next weeks while I'm off for the Jewish Holidays, it's hearth mother rockin' the house!

There is a butternut squash on the counter for tomorrow!

AWP--Save the Date

Just found out the time of my panel over the weekend!!!

Event Title: Speaking Through Silence: Women respond to Rape and Assault
Participants: Carly Sachs, Julia Spicher Kasdorf, Amanda McGuire, Molly Fisk, Alice Anderson, Harriet Levin
Scheduled Day: Friday, February 1, 2008
Scheduled Time: 12:00-1:15PM